I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
