Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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