I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
