I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
