Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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