Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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