I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
