p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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