I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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