Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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