Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
