Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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