i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
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