Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
