if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
