Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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