yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
