you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
3 2 1 whiskey
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
