I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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