ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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