Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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