these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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