Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
