Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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