I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
