never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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