everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
