if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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