i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did i walk over a car last night?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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