Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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