Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
