I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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