Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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