everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize