OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
