sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.