Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm

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(248): View more from Michigan

My new storm is the chrons

(248): View more from Michigan

The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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(503): View more from Oregon

hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon

(1-503): View more from Oregon

all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis

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(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.

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(818): View more from California

Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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(425): View more from Washington

The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.

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