On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
