You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.