Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I haven't been this sober since birth.

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(585): View more from New York

we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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(972): View more from Texas

I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.

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(917): View more from New York City

On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy

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(404): View more from Georgia

I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro

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(607): View more from New York

To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.

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(510): View more from California

I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.

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