Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i can juggle bunnies

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  cool

  (802): View more from Vermont

  on fire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): i can juggle bunnies (1-802): cool (802): on fire http://tfl.nu/wqba
  Replies (11) Good night (3264) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left http://tfl.nu/1ikl
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (3776)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  no. you can't hotbox the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): no. you can't hotbox the world. http://tfl.nu/5as3
  Replies (54) Good night (5517) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uswo
  Replies (14) Good night (1419) Bad night (4450)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again. http://tfl.nu/pun6
  Replies (39) Good night (4489) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (3307)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles. http://tfl.nu/ov1n
  Replies (14) Good night (1476) Bad night (4691)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): remember, YOU ARE A WINNER (410): my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice. http://tfl.nu/siqr
  Replies (11) Good night (1475) Bad night (3251)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4588) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what http://tfl.nu/cm71
  Replies (7) Good night (2119) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1926) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies http://tfl.nu/3ufe
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.

  (469): View more from Texas

  I have the flu.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't give a shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now. (469): I have the flu. (214): I don't give a shit http://tfl.nu/yb1n
  Replies (12) Good night (1426) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough. http://tfl.nu/om7u
  Replies (1) Good night (219) Bad night (305)

Randomize