p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I party with great urgency now.
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