Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.

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  (972): He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me. http://tfl.nu/b757
  Replies (22) Good night (5137) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  How'd that go?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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  (301): I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been... (443): How'd that go? (301): Hes on his way with a baseball bat... http://tfl.nu/x8jv
  Replies (14) Good night (799) Bad night (4118)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

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  (660): We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out http://tfl.nu/p80s
  Replies (3) Good night (5256) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!

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  (203): I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish! http://tfl.nu/uppy
  Replies (4) Good night (1639) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible

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  (530): the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible http://tfl.nu/pzql
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (2014)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.

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  (732): Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related. http://tfl.nu/sl34
  Replies (5) Good night (2301) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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  (563): I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join? http://tfl.nu/9f19
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.

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  (303): I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win. http://tfl.nu/uk9u
  Replies (10) Good night (2366) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.

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  (267): I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten. http://tfl.nu/d8ik
  Replies (10) Good night (815) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"

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  (609): pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!" http://tfl.nu/i0nq
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

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  (360): I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite http://tfl.nu/ql58
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..

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  (570): Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours.. http://tfl.nu/vg6d
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?

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  (401): Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra? http://tfl.nu/q2ra
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

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  (714): So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3b6z
  Replies (5) Good night (428) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.

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  (250): Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me. http://tfl.nu/kle9
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (744)

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