It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
