his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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