Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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