he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
