She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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