thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
