All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
