The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
