We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
