need another drink. this is the easiest way
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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