I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
