haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize