This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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