am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
