I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
