It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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