The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
