I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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