oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
