today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
