I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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